An Insomniatic Night (Short Story)

She laid face up on her bed, counting the seconds that passed, feeling the thumps of her heart, and replaying the last day, week, year. The past and future flickered below tense eyelids, quickening her heartbeat. Bedtime had become a safe haven for her thoughts; every night, they flooded her consciousness, too powerful to be blocked. She drowned in reminiscent memories, regrets, and future plans, heaving and breathless amidst the waves. She heard her roommate’s soft snores, and realized that everyone was deep asleep but her. That awareness rose in her a sense of exclusion and loneliness. They were in the world of slumber, while she remained trap in the ever-slow earthbound time. Then suddenly, another realization dawned on her, stimulating her body into a state of hyperactivity. The energy flowed through her spine, and she felt more alive than ever. She sat upright on her bed and quietly climbed down her bunk bed.

Jacket. Scarves. Gloves. Ear muffs.

The night was beautiful. Enshrouded by the veil of darkness, lighted by the soft moonlight, she felt invincible. Throwing her head back, roaring with laughter, she danced like a ballerina intoxicated by the pure air. Air for her breathes, ground for her feet, dancing for her sake only. She spun and leaped and pounced until her body was heated from the exertion.

Gentle white flurries began to pollinate the surroundings. Soon, a fine layer of crystalline snow outlined the trees and buildings. She stopped dancing to admire the new beauty around her. A smile lit her face and she started laughing uncontrollably. The melody of her joy vibrated throughout the white world. So this is how it’s supposed to feel, she thought. Looking up the the heavens, arms outstretched, she drank the sky.     

Know When to Quit

I've been studying for finals all week, and from the killer organic chemistry practice exams, I have noticed that stubbornly persevering is not always the best solution. I often wrecked my mind trying to figure out one difficult question, wasting hours of time, feeling frustrated, and ending nowhere. There comes a point when I need to take a break, move on to the next problem, or just take a peak at the answer (*confesses guiltily ^.^) Persevering can be tough, but learning when to quit is even harder. This relates to multiple areas of life, whether it's a hobby you're no longer passionate about, or a long-term relationship that isn't working. 

Sticking to something that is not progressing your life, not invigorating your soul, not growing your mind, not moving you and making you feel alive is dangerous. Maybe it's an hour wasted this time. Soon, it'll be months, years, decades that pass by you, and you'll be left nothing but a token for endurance and regret. 

I think a major cause of "ruts" in life is being too comfortable with the familiar, and fearing change. To quit is to suddenly alter a consistency in your life, and the more ingrained this hobby, person, or career is in your life, the longer you've had it, the stronger the impact. Another struggle with quiting is the mere fact that you've persevered for so long and put in so much already. Quiting means you lose the work and the time. And at the onset, you may feel empty, devoid of something. But at this void point in your life,  you will have the biggest chance to grow. You can embrace new opportunities and experiences, and find what gives you more excitement and growth. 

I was taught never to quit. My parents instilled in me the importance of hard work early on in my childhood. When I do something, I put in my whole commitment and effort, and I think that's one of my best character traits. But I tend to fall into the habit of never quiting, even when I should...thank you organic chemistry for reminding me...

So from now on, I'm going to check myself when I cling for too long on a person, relationship, hobby, etc. And I hope you guys do too. Quiting is okay, and sometimes, it is for the better.